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Writer's pictureMyriam Kane

Boundaries (embodied)

Updated: Nov 10, 2021

When we move beyond the healthy ROM of a joint it sprains or strains. We’ve breached its boundaries and the result is damage of the ligaments that hold the bones joined at this juncture, perhaps damaged cartilage and possibly worse.


Over time it will “heal” to a degree depending on the level of damage and the rehabilitation done—or not done.


And so it is with personal boundaries. Yep, we often see the physical embodiment of our emotional state.


In the book aptly named Boundaries, authors Cloud and Townsend depict boundaries as fencing.

Fencing can keep things in (your dog) and some things out (the neighbor’s dog).


Sometimes we redraw the line of boundaries and expand the area and sometimes we need to make them a bit smaller.


They can be flexible or “permanent”.

This can be dependent on the objective. Or how well/clearly boundaries are drawn in the first place.

Every joint in our body is assigned a certain range of motion (ROM). Some of us are more “flexy” and some less. Some of us have more relaxed ligaments which makes us a bit hypermobile and therefore we need a stronger “fence” of muscles around our joint to support what the ligaments aren’t doing.

Some of us are a tad “uptight” and need to take the time to “release” our connective tissues from their “grippiness” and slowly regain efficient ROM.


Simply, a sense of balance between mobility and strength takes awareness, appropriate movement and time to process.


So it is with boundaries. As within, so without.

Start with awareness.

Of how you move.

Where you feel stuck. Where you feel unstable.

In your body.

In your thoughts.

Without judgement (there’s that).

With compassion.


Take time to write it down.

Take. Time.

In our culture that seems to be a universal challenge.

Do it anyway.

So start. By noticing. Being aware. Writing it down.

You can’t hurry the process.

(I mean, you can but then it’s no longer a process.🙈)


We’ll move on (see what I did) next week.

Meanwhile…make it a great day.



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